Whuh? (a la Tim Allen)

So... as much as I'm looking forward to seeing the thrilling Heath Ledger Joker in theater(s), I feel like people haven't been going apeshit enough over Bush's maniacal evil-doing recently.

[Warning: this post is of the ranting nature of Denis Leary or George Carlin, and should read in an indignant, conniving, mouth-frothing manner.]

I saw his press conference on off-shore drilling legislation in a Qdoba mexican restaurant in the Upper East Side and I was the only one asking WHAT THE FUCK? aloud.

By the way, how come anyone who knows New York City geography sounds like an asshole?

The news about solidifying his ambition celebre to limit women's healthcare was followed by a Britney Spears & K Fed update... so falsely labeling birth control (IUDs, the pill and emergency contraception) as abortion is of the same relevance to us Los Angelesan dimwits as pop star out of court settlements.

Ann Coulter is yip-yapping away on her blog:
"Democrats couldn't care less about high gas prices. The consistent policy of the Democratic Party, going back at least to Jimmy Carter, has been to jack up gas prices so we can all start pedaling around on tricycles."

"Liberals complain that -- as B. Hussein Obama put it -- there's "no way that allowing offshore drilling would lower gas prices right now. At best you are looking at five years or more down the road... This is as opposed to airplanes that run on woodchips, which should be up and running any moment now."

"Six long years ago President Bush had the foresight to demand that Congress allow drilling in a minuscule portion of the Alaska's barren, uninhabitable Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR). In 2002, Bush, Tom DeLay and the entire Republican Party were screaming from the rooftops: Drill! Drill! Drill!"

"We'd be gushing oil now -- except the Democrats stopped us from drilling... The other party -- plus John McCain -- ferociously opposed drilling in ANWR, drilling offshore or drilling anyplace else. Instead of Drill! Drill! Drill!, their motto could be: Kill! Kill! Kill! They refuse to believe our abortion studies? I refuse to believe they care about Americans having to pay high gas prices."

Tricycles... gushing oil... Bush foresight... uninhabitable... woodchips... "our" abortion studies... what a great train of thought Ms. Coulter must have tapped into.

Suddenly, she imagines, America is reborn! Bush is recast as Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood... oil gushing out of Alaska, rather, and onto the Bush twins this time-- can you imagine if they were deaf? Dubya is blessed with the gift of foresight and runs for governor of Kaliforneeah so he and Dick Cheney can further profit off Enron with some more rolling brownouts. He orders all Redwood trees be cut down to fuel the revolutionary woodchip-energy era.

Oh what dreams you must dream up Ann. Poignant use of the name Hussein by the by... I may reconsider my vote.

So I'm also supposed to believe that Bush's intentions are located in the Gulf of Mexico? Or that he has any regard for anyone who isn't him while he's lifting restrictions and assaulting women's health; stepping over the velvet rope and through the yellow tape to tamper with two great national precautions.

Wrong.

Feminist Daily News clarifies, "As a result, women's ability to manage their own health care is at risk of being compromised by politics and ideology."

Bush is having one grand finale, and sneering a little sneer all the while.

But he does say we gets more stimuli, which is what really matters in the long run.